Friday, April 3, 2009

Why She Won't Wear Hijab?

A conversation for Muslim sisters:

"I'm so tired."

"Tired of what?"

"Of all these people judging me."

"Who judged you?"

"Like that woman, every time I sit with her, she tells me to wear hijab."

"Oh, hijab and music! The mother of all topics!"

"Yeah! I listen to music without hijab…haha!"

"Maybe she was just giving you advice."

"I don't need her advice. I know my religion. Can`t she mind her own business?"

"Maybe you misunderstood. She was just being nice."

"Keeping out of my business, that would be nice..."

"But it's her duty to encourage you do to good."

"Trust me. That was no encouragement. And what do you mean `good` ?"

"Well, wearing hijab, that would be a good thing to do."

"Says who?"

"It's in the Qur'an, isn't it?"

"Yes. She did quote me something."

"She said Surah Nur, and other places of the Qur'an."

"Yes, but it's not a big sin anyway. Helping people and praying is more important."

"True. But big things start with small things."

"That's a good point, but what you wear is not important. What's important is to have a good healthy heart."

"What you wear is not important?"

"That's what I said."

"Then why do you spend an hour every morning fixing up?"

"What do you mean?"

"You spend money on cosmetics, not to mention all the time you spend on fixing your hair and low-carb dieting."


"So, your appearance IS important."

"No. I said wearing hijab is not an important thing in religion."

"If it's not an important thing in religion, why is it mentioned in the Holy Qur'an?"

"You know I can't follow all that's in Qur'an."

"You mean God tells you something to do, you disobey and then it's OK?"

"Yes. God is forgiving."

"God is forgiving to those who repent and do not repeat their mistakes."

"Says who?"

"Says the same book that tells you to cover."

"But I don't like hijab, it limits my freedom."

"But the lotions, lipsticks, mascara and other cosmetics set you free?!

What`s your definition of freedom anyway?"

"Freedom is in doing whatever you like to do."

"No. Freedom is in doing the right thing, not in doing whatever we wish to do."

"Look! I've seen so many people who don't wear hijab and are nice people, and so many who wearhijab and are bad people."

"So what? There are people who are nice to you but are alcoholic. Should we all be alcoholics? You made a stupid point."

"I don't want to be an extremist or a fanatic. I'm OK the way I am without hijab."

"Then you are a secular fanatic. An extremist in disobeying God."

"You don't get it, if I wear hijab, who would marry me?!"

"So all these people with hijab never get married?!"

"Okay! What if I get married and my husband doesn't like it? And wants me to remove it?"

"What if your husband wants you to go out with him on a bank robbery?!"

"That's irrelevant, bank robbery is a crime."

"Disobeying your Creator is not a crime?"

"But then who would hire me?"

"A company that respects people for who they are."

"Not after 9-11"

"Yes. After 9-11. Don't you know about Hanan who just got into med school?

And the other one, what was her name, the girl who always wore a white hijab…ummm…"


"Yes. Yasmeen. She just finished her MBA and is now interning for GE."

"Why do you reduce religion to a piece of cloth anyway?"

"Why do you reduce womanhood to high heals and lipstick colors?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"In fact, I did. Hijab is not just a piece of cloth. It is obeying God in a difficult environment. It is courage, faith in action, and true womanhood.

But your short sleeves, tight pants…"

"That's called `fashion`, you live in a cave or something? First of all, hijab was founded by men who wanted to control women."

"Really? I did not know men could control women by hijab."

"Yes. That's what it is."

"What about the women who fight their husbands to wear hijab? And women in France who are forced to remove their hijab by men? What do you say about that?"

"Well, that's different."

"What difference? The woman who asked you to wear hijab…she was a woman, right?"

"Right, but…"

"But fashions that are designed and promoted by male-dominated corporations, set
you free? Men have no control on exposing women and using them as a commodity?! Give me a break!"

"Wait, let me finish, I was saying…"

"Saying what? You think that men control women by hijab?"


"Specifically how?"

"By telling women how and what to wear, dummy!"

"Doesn't TV, magazines and movies tell you what to wear, and how to be `attractive'?"

"Of course, it's fashion."

"Isn't that control? Pressuring you to wear what they want you to wear?"


"Not just controlling you, but also controlling the market."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you are told to look skinny and anorexic like that woman on the cover
of the magazine, by men who design those magazines and sell those products."

"I don't get it. What does hijab have to do with products."

"It has everything to do with that. Don't you see? Hijab is a threat to consumerism,
women who spend billions of dollars to look skinny and live by standards of fashion designed by men…and then here is Islam, saying trash all that nonsense and focus on your soul, not on your looks, and do not worry what men think of your looks."

"Like I don't have to buy hijab? Isn't hijab a product?"

"Yes, it is. It is a product that sets you free from male-dominated consumerism."

"Stop lecturing me! I WILL NOT WEAR HIJAB!

It is awkward, outdated, and totally not suitable for this society ... Moreover, I am only 20 and too young to wear hijab!"

"Fine. Say that to your Lord, when you face Him on Judgment Day."




"Shut up and I don't want to
hear more about hijab niqab schmijab Punjab!"


She stared at the mirror, tired of arguing with herself all this time.

Successful enough, she managed to shut the voices in her head, with her own opinions triumphant
in victory on the matter, and a final modern decision accepted by the society - but rejected by the Faith:

"Yes!" - to curls on the hair - "No!" - to hijab!

"And he(/she) is indeed a failure who corrupts it [the soul]!"
[Holy Quran 91:10]

"Nay! You prefer the life of this world; While the hereafter is better and more lasting."
[Holy Quran: 87:16-17]

"You are the best community (Ummah) raised up for (the benefit of) humanity; enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong and believing in Allah."[Holy Quran: 3:110]


saya said...


umi-ali said...

semoga Allah bagi faham.

izat said...

Ya semoga Allah kasi faham pada kita dan semua muslimah pentingnya menutup aurat..

umi-ali said...

aslm, i was previously ahliah karkun melaka laa. hijab ni byk faedahnya, ms akak pg hj dulu dgn purdah n all in black, mudahnya di kedua2 tmpt suci madinah n makkah. Rasalah umat ni ummatan wahidah iaitu umat yg satu bkn malaysian turki ipb china dll.bole communicate dgn rmi org dr brbagai bangsa wpun ckp aym ckp itik tp rs mesra,pki body language pun jadi.. dan byk dpt respek bkn kita nak tp jnji Allah org yg hijab dmuliakn. tp yg penting mnta dgn Allah, kkdg kita nk hijab sempurna cuba tp x kuat tp ada x kita minta dgn Allah? itu yg pling pnting sentiasa merayu2 dgnNya, merengek2 dgnNya dwaktu thjud.Merengek dgn abg lain yg dpt, lm2 dia pun boring, tp Allah suka kita asik mintak je kat Dia.ok wslm.

izat said...

Assalamualaikum kak umi-ali,

ooo.. kak ahlia karkun melaka rupanya..bertambah lg ahlia karkun yg buat blog..sesamalah kita berhubungan`dan menyampaikan perkara bermanfaat:)

Nak pakai purdah memang dlm fikiran saya dan saya selalu terbyg2 langkah terbaik pakai purdah dgn selesa tanpa keluarga bising2 ialah pergi haji je.. tp tulah yg salah, sepatutnya kita kena mintak kekuatan dr Allah nak tutup aurat sebaiknya tak kira kat mana pun kita kan? Semoga Allah kasi kekuatan pd saya.. feel pakai purdah kerana Allah rasa hebat kan?

umi-ali said...

aslm, umum sgt bl pki tag ahlia krkun melaka kan,baiule specific skit..melaka ttp melaka, ulau melingkau atas pagau...
mmg ada kwn2 yg pki purdah ms hj n trus pki lps tu.cara yg baik jg tu sbb kekuatan kt lain2.akak pnya pling lain, nk tau?kt share laa pnglman...akak bljr kat us b4 blik msia pki,buat dono je.mak dok ulang srh buka, tp babah akak ckp, baik mcm tu, klu dia blik pki shorts kita nk ckp ape?selamat...
tp ujian mesti ada, mn ada org wt usha agma xde ujian?ujian itu pningkatan iman.mcm sekolh mula2 upsr, kmudian pmr n spm dot dot dot,br jd doctor, engineer dll...
klu xnk ujian sm cm bdk tadika x naik2 smpi bsau...oklaa ckuple tu. wslm.

izat said...

W'salam, kak umi-ali, best ugak ye pengalaman akak, masa blk tu dah terlibat ke ngan usaha iman amal ni? Dah kawin ke masa tuh? Byk pulak tanya nih..Tp alhamdullillah Allah kasi kekuatan kat akak pakai purdah, bukan mudah tuh.. thanx for sharing your precious experience. Sgt bermakna.
Saya kena byk doa semoga Allah bg kekuatan utk tempuh ujian..betul ujian tu peningkatan iman.. tq again for remind me..

umi-ali said...

aslm,xpe byk queries mklumle br knl tu dah wat usha skit2 kat sana,tklim rumah n tklim minguan je mklumle ankdre lg. km dbantu oleh krkun2 yg dah bkuarga dr tmpt lama kami,esp dr.zubir langat, skrg dia n ahlia kua mstrt ke China, 1st jmt mstrt...bravo! akak ni anak mak,ikut ckp mak, jgn kwin ms bljr jd kite taat lah.lgpun da jodo ngn org mlaka jgk kt x tau kan taqdir! blik msia menganggur the next year nikah n trus jd penganggur professional n permanent...kesian makbabah akak semoga Allah bg fhm kat meke...syukur Allah mudahkn laluan akak sbb ms tu ekonomy negara drop mmg xde keje n jpa pun tpksa lpskan kami...intansurulullaha yansurkum, wayusabbit aqdaa makum, mfhum lbh krg :jk kmu bantu (agma) Allah, Dia akn bantu kamu, dan tegakkn kaki2mu...>janjiNya benar...

namaku ina said...

assalamu'alaykum warohmatullahi wabarokaatuh

Subhanallah.. kisah yg menarik..

menarik juga tengok kisah pengalaman mengenakan purdah :D na pun lagi belajar pakai purdah.. mohon doa ya.. insya Allah

boleh ina izin copy-paste this entry? ingin share dgn kawan2.. moga jadi asbab turun hidayah keseluruh alam.. Amiin ya Allah

salam kenal dari Ina, Jakarta-indonesia ^___^

Marina said...

assalaamu'alaykum Ummi.. mohon izin share di blog saya ya..membaca ini seperti membaca pikiran saya sewaktu belum mengenakan jilbab, hehe.. jazakillah khairan, salam kenal dari Indonesia ^^

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